Dexter Lawrence Authentic Jersey  Feb 2 - Feb 6, 2011

I want to start off with telling you that the week of Feb 1-7 is National Leukemia week. Out of repsect for the Garrett family - Mason was our focus this week and will continue to be right now. I just want people to be aware of Leukemia week and how vicious this diesease can be ... For our Kendal we will proudly sport "Orange" in the years to come on these dates - but this week was different - we lost another child and so our hearts are with Mason's family right now.

With week while going through the motions of monthly checkups and heading to the Rose Cancer Center I was on the phone and when I pulled in - everything changed ... I saw this sign .... I immediately felt numb. I think I was in such a rush the first visit I never noticed this sign .... what a raw reminder only days after losing Baby Mason ... living at home I am not oblivious to the fact that my son is still fighting cancer - but I don't see it like I did today. I looked at that sign and just paused as the gate pulled back ... I am not sure if I felt denial - I don't know exactly what it was but I just felt sad. I was humbled, nothing brings you to your knees and rips your heart out more than knowing that sign isn't for you - but your child ... It was reality - I assume much like anyone that is disabled and wasn't at one point ... it's a terrible reminder of the truth to see signs designated for you. So in my sadness I pulled it together to get him in and check in ...

Upon checking in, being tagged, bracelet and signing in ... we were called back ... I reminded them to draw labs and that he needed zofran ( to keep him from getting sick) and then they went to access him ... in those 3 minutes it took to access him ... God knew I was weak and needed something to lift me up ... boy did He do just that ... in those 3 minutes my son belted out sounds that would make most parents embarassed - he was screaming and not his normally raspy scream from his left vocal cord being paralyzed from surgery - but a scream I have not heard for 8 months ... a high pitch, beautiful sound ... it brought me to tears ... I honestly stopped praying for his right vocal cord  because I have been so focused on praying for the cancer to never to return that I was in shock hearing him scream.... I cried during his infusion that lasted an hour thanking God ... I just really wasn't sure if I would ever hear him that loud ever again....what a blessing in the midst of so much bad news lately ...

Yesteray also ended cycle 2 of oral chemo and while I felt so much satisfaction throwing this bottle away ... a shipment of tomorrows chemos arrived that day. So buckle up-  into cycle 3 .... his ANC is 1800 and hgb (red Blood) is 11.3 platelets are 185.  This cycle will drop him and in 2 weeks we will be at St Jude for our tests. Please pray for clean scans NED, STABLE all those are perfectly fine to me ... I just want him to beat this and be able to be a normal boy ... he deserves it!

We have children that will be scanned soon .. Luca, Ashlan, Christian S.  and please pray for Ivees, and Errhens surgeries for their reoccurances in the next 2 weeks  ....also please pray for Anna Rose as their parents still sit in PICU making decisions on treatment.

Today I met with parents of a 21 year old that was diagnosed (with what Nicholas had) at age 3, tough road but they have prevailed and push on ... I am so thankful I was able to meet them - hug them and talk openly with them .... as we parted the father looked at me and said, "Keep faith" .... and I turned back at told him ... "Faith is God's blanket ... I keep it close ... "

Another parent of a cancer child whom was lost on thanksgiving day posted this on facebook, though it is a bit brash - it is true and so I thought it was worth posting the ugly truth: 

Congratulations! Your child has been entered in today's drawing. You do not need to enter, your child has already been qualified. 46 will be chosen at random and the prize will be chemo, radiation and surgery, Another 7 will have a choice between a wooden box or a plastic bag for qualifying. Didn't get picked??? See you tomorrow for another chance.

Mind you his point was that every day 46 children under the age of 20 are diagnosed with some form of cancer ... that's every single day and today I read an article that said overall cancer in children has gone up 1% in the last year .... how many more are chosen everyday? Its painful to read things like this ....

Below is a photo while he was getting his infusion, you can see his line in his chest ....



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