Dexter Lawrence Authentic Jersey  December 12 - 18, 2010

Let me start by saying how grateful we are to our Lord and Savior - Jesus Christ! Our first week home! Looking back at the last 7 months, I remember nights being inpatient praying, hoping that one day we would return back to Michigan with our family together. God answered that prayer just as we are about to celebrate the most precious birthday ever, His son Jesus Christ. Brings so much into perspective truly. This week has been emotional.

We finished his first week of oral chemo which will last 6 months. He got sick once, but we seem to think that was due to him eating with chemo. We are now adjusting that to no food an hour before chemo which is at 9pm every night. So in week one being home Baby Nicholas is completely walking! Stumbles a little bit, but everyday he's growing leaps and bounds. He calls our dog Haley, Hay-yee which just melts your heart how cute it is. He is communicating so much more! He points to the kitchen and then his mouth, like HELLO .. feed me! It's pretty funny. We are just enjoying him so so much. He adores his older brother Christian and loves playing with him. He's just overall doing great.

We were able to go to church on Sunday and our Pastor called us up to just show the 2000 plus people in there what the power of prayer is and what it continues to do for not only our son, but for us as a family traveling this path God chose us all for.

Everyday I am speaking with the Mom's I know from St. Jude and across the country - we are our own support group of uniquely different women that all have the most painful experience in common, a child fighting cancer. They all know my phone is on and always available should they need me, and I know I can call them if I ever need to. Today I spoke to Nicole, she said that Baby Wade was contracted by God for a certain amount of days and that she needs to stop researching and looking for answers because his journey and outcome would not have changed no matter what she did. It was all to serve a purpose. God's purpose.

I thought about that, again it brought me back to the first night in ER when God made it painfully clear that we have no control over anything at all really. Once again her statement made me realize that no matter what I do, no matter how much I never want cancer to come back ... this solely is in God's hands as I have said from the beginning. It is however up to me and my family to TRUST God's plan with whatever comes our way. In the last few months I have seen children die, and I have seen miracles that baffle Doctors and they are unexplained medically, we who believe know a miracle when we see it .... yet so many brokenhearted families fight this disease and we don't know why our children go through this. Again I was reminded by Nicole that Baby Wade's life no matter the length touched so many people. With the Internet, sites like my son's - who knows who is reading this and I will never fully know the magnitude of what one little soul's fight going through this means to the people that know us, even if it is from a great distance. I realize that by sharing my journey, I share my son with the world - he doesn't just matter to me .... he matters to so many people. I can't tell you how many strangers have tapped me on my shoulder and whispered,"I am praying so hard for you and your family." I am immediately humbled and I cry with a gratitude I can not verbalize. I have had complete strangers hug me, what a powerful thing a hug is. What I know is that this suffering impacts so many people...I have had distant acquaintances send cards and gifts, I've had complete strangers offer prayer, I watch people in parking lots pass my car sticker that has a St Jude logo on it and says Pray for Nicholas actually close their eyes when they walk by me ... praying? I believe so ....

I hope this Holiday season that you donate to St. Jude the dollar amount doesn't matter - its the gift of life and helping children. I added to our site to the right a Donation for St Jude, it goes directly to them in honor of Baby Nicholas.

Also please pray for Baby Mason ....below are ornaments Nicole made for my tree, one gold ribbon to always remember our Lil Wade and one gold ribbon for Baby Nicholas, thank you for my ribbons!

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