What a week, I found myself roaming the empty halls of St. Jude miserable. I couldn't sleep - I am hurting so much for my friend right now that I can't think straight. I can't handle another night here right now - yesterday was the brutal reality that at any moment everything can change in just moments and it can be any child here. I prayed my heart out crying most of the morning. Then a bit of sunshine came in when my nurse told me that Nicholas' Methotrexate levels were at .43 which its typically .9 or .8 but never that low and my Doctor told me that the longer than use this drug the harder it becomes to clear because the body gets use to it. So my doctor was attending upstairs and she knew I was having a rough time being there and so she told me they were discharging us as long as I was ok with giving Nicholas IV pushes of Lecovorin which is used to prevent the damaging side effects of Methotrexate. I think my doctor knew I needed a mental break and didn't schedule me to come in until Tuesday. So our last time doing this drug and our last room number for it B2077.

Dear Lord,

I'm having such a hard time and my heart is so heavy Father .... I beg you to surround my friend Nicole and her family right now. I thank you for getting me away from the hospital right now as it is a constant reminder of what just happened here. I ask you daily to just protect us during this process, it has been an extremely tough week Lord. I lay all my burdens at your feet. Peter 5:7 Cast all your cares on him, for He cares for you. Lord, I'm casting them all to you ....