Day 18 of Proton...complete! I hope you took the time to watch the video I posted yesterday, I realized how much I don't tell about this process. I sobbed uncontrollably watching that video - it is unbelievably true. I have a hard time every time I walk my son back into the gantry for radiation and watch him fall limp in my arms being sedated so that they can place him on the table and bolt him down with his mask. When I think about what is being done I am disgusted and I can't think straight .... my baby ... yes my little baby is being radiated. Nothing could be worse than living this process. I think I have not been real or emotionally open enough in my posts - this process is a nightmare and I try to focus on hoping and praying that he is cured at the end of this incredible nightmare.

I am not afforded to take for granted that my son is going to be fine even after all this .... imagine that ... I haven't been home except for a few days twice since May 21st, 2010. I would do anything for my child ... anything ... God grant me the strength because honestly ... I am really weak ... I'm beat down and trying so hard to stay strong .... why my son ..... why this precious boy .... he's enduring so much Lord I pray you allow him a full life and a long life.