Updates
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Baby Nicholas has been much better in the last few days. His counts on Thursday ANC 910, platelets 150 and Hgb (red blood) 10.4 so tonight is his last dose of cycle 5 chemo. I have such a sense of relief when I get to throw away bio hazard bags that once held chemo. He will have a week off of chemo for counts to recover and then we enter into our last cycle of chemo. I can't believe how quickly the last 5 months have gone by ..... this time of year gives me anxiety ..... I lost my most wonderful grandmother 2 years ago today and I miss her so very much. She and I shared a beautiful relationship and I will cherish my memories of her always.
It been an interesting week. Some of you may have seen the video I created below. Mr. John Rich contacted ALSAC, which is St Judes fund raising department and asked if he could legally use my video. How crazy is that, but what a blessing !!!! So he had to remove it from his site until all the parents give approval for him and St Jude to use it. Crazy I can see I was just a vehicle in Gods plan for it to get into the hands of someone that will reach far more people than I ever could.
So we were blessed today "AGAIN" by someone who has really followed us through our journey .... who has gone so out of her way so many times .... thank you so much Kim for sending these adorable baskets for the boys. Christian used his for the egg hunt at church and God willing, next year Nicholas will use his too! They were thoughtful and precious.... thank you for your friendship and for caring so very much. Even your kindness has changed me ... I just wanted to thank you again.... it has meant so much. It puts so many things in perspective. Thank you.
This was Baby Nicholas Easter Sunday outside, for a moment my heart was happy taking him outside and then I realized it was so bright he needed a hat. I went in and grabbed a hat, the hate made me stop and fall to the ground .... it was a gift given to us from the Bailey Family (Rykens Family) I couldn't stopt thinking about all my friends that lost their children. Another holiday for families I love to "GET THROUGH", its wrong .. and we need cures... it was hard to be happy when I realized this.
My week got worse, the following day a precious 2 yrs old in Miami that was on my protocol is on hospice and I found myself begging God to help ..... not even 24 hours later .... a mother from my group emailed me on Easter and I told her to call me ... she's ready to give up and today her meeting with Neuro - Oncology left her posting only that they are too going on hospice .... this is a child under 5 ....my mind is spinning and God is protecting me from getting upset over Nicholas .... but I am in prayer and I ask you to be in prayer for John and Euji ..... I don't understand how many babies I have watched fallinto the grips of cancer and MOST do not win .... the statistics are just not accurate ... too many children are dying and so many people will read this and say I will help ... leave the page open and do NOTHING .... maybe the next time I post we lost anyone precious baby you might, just maybe donate. This is not intended for the ones that do, but people I love haven't taken two minutes to undestand this .... Its upsetting .... I just want these chidlren to have a chance and I will advocate for the rest of my life .... please people the word HOSPICE and babies it so wrong ....
God,
Grant my friends the wisdom to make choices no parent should make .... please father have mercy and if you will provide miracles .... we know you are ABLE.... please Father .... please watch over these families.
I need to take a moment to update you on children and families that I have asked you to pray about. I woke this morning to a message from the Thayer Family.
CURED so that our lives mission is the obligation to help the children affected by these catastrophic diseases. 
This week Baby Nicholas wanted to go outside and boy he LOVES it. It was nice enough and so his Daddy took him out. He loved the wind blowing in his face and it was like someone was stabbing him trying to get him to come in. He is soooo spoiled but we wouldn't have it any other way. Yesterdays labs his ANC is 1112 and his platelets 175 and hgb (red Blood) 10.4 all dropped but not terribly. He has one more full week on this chemo and then a full week off. I was really bummed when I bought him an outfit for Easter not realizing it was his last week of this chemo that drops his counts and not realizing that it may not be safe to take him to Easter Sunday at church. This past month our church now offers LIVESTREAMING video online and on IPhones ... its amazing --- I don't have to miss church ... was a blessing. So let me invite you to church this week .... here in the link 
Since his counts were up this week, we were able to attend church at Brightmoor. It was about the power of an invite and our pastor asked if he could use our story in his service. Our son Christian went to school with 2 amazing little boys and they became best friends. Through them I met their mother Cheryl Helm. Cheryl had Christian for a sleepover and asked if she could take him to church, I ended up coming with her that day. Little did I know that that invite would eventually lead to me inviting my brother and Nick. We all were getting our priorities straight and letting God heal us. Then my Dad started attending Brightmoor also. Soon others came and my little brother met his now wife there also .... all from one invite. Sadly, Cherly had became very sick in 2007 with cancer and she was one of the best moms I have ever known. She was hands on and her sons were her whole world. When she became sick I promised to pick her boys up for swim lessons or soccer. I knew she was really ill when she bought me car seats, if you knew her you knew she never wanted anyone to drive her children but her. My heart broke, I remember I started video taping everything the boys did so that when they went home I would leave a dvd for Cheryl for her to watch them and see them since she was too weak to come. I knew how much that hurt her missing out on those moments so I tried to bring them to her. For as long as I live, I will never forget bringing the boys home one day from a play date to her. She was weak and so very fragile and she walked out to her garage to let me bring the boys in. Bryce was asleep in my arms when I carried him into her house and she stopped m
e and said, "I don't know what I am going to do if something happens to me.... My mom is too weak, she's older now and my sister is just getting married and couldn't handle it .... I wouldn't let her she said. She looked at me as if I should have an answer to her so deseperate question that her heart planted in mine. A phone rang and stopped us from talking but I vividly remember this day and can replay it as if she was asking me to help her. 
