Updates

December 24, 2011 - January 9, 2012

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I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and with "Hope" in their hearts that this will be a great year 2012! Praying it brings cures and better treatments for so many diseases.

Nicky has been a "JOY" and it was a blessing to watch him play with his cousins and interact with them really for the first time during the holidays. It was a special Christmas because he actually unwrapped gifts and his face lit up when he got super excited and, of course his favorite phrase with his hands turned up, "Whaaaaa's Dattttt???" He repeats it over and over lol its pretty funny when he is excited over something. He has new favorite movies lately, Cars is by far over played in our household daily. Now he's into BOLT and Megamind too. He's pretty picky and will give you the DVD he wants to watch no matter who is watching TV he rules the house. We have accomdated that by using a mini DVD player for him to view on so the rest of us aren't subjected to having to watch his choice 24/7 but I truly don't mind watching his favorite movies.

This photo was from Christmas morning. While he seemed totally happy with the Cars versions he got, his Baba and Dedo had to trump all Santa did and Mom and Dads gifts later that night....

Thats right, he got his first car at age 2 and I told everyone I will gladly replicate this car at age 16 - GOD PLEASE KEEP HIM WELL! He watched over his new car like a hawk, it was so funny to watch him. Christian got everything he wanted too and is following his Daddy wanting to play Hockey now ... GO WINGS :) --- our Christmas finale' George style was 22 pairs of Uggs lol yes everyone got a pair all 12 grand children and all the kids and spouses. it was a year to BOOT ! : )

He is becoming easier to take to dinner and in public places now though we are diving into cold season, we are trying to limit where we take him. He loves his tummy rubbed and it's so great to feel that bare belly with nothing on it anymore! 1 1/2 years with either a tube of bandages and now it is gone .... it's wonderful and God is GOOD! Many of you know I am extremely involved in the cancer community and with that comes news on any given day, or a new family reaching out for support. I never turn away from that responsibility..... I pray for more children than I can keep up with, I have a mental schedule of MRI's and follow up with the parents ... some families I tend to get closer to.... and while I celebrated the Holidays, I was still reminded of children that had passed away Marlie D. 9 yrs old, passed away New Years Eve. please pray for the Dodison family. While so many parents faced their first of many holidays without their children, I want those parents to know I remembered you all, I see each of your babies and childrens faces in my memories and I pray at different times for strength for each of you. Just like MRI dates I memorize mentally, I haven't forgotten a date of each child I followed pass away. I mourn for the parents and families that are missing them so much. While some kids I know are fighting so hard, the reality that some families cross into yet another bridge after a relapse ... is the possiblity that are efforts have been exhuasted... for the littlest fighters there is only so much their bodies can take and for some, there are no curavtive treatment options. I know this sounds silly, but we bought the Star Wars series on DVD and since Christmas we have watched 2 each night ....in one espisode this dialog remains true for Christian's:

Luke Skywalker: You don't believe in the Force, do you?

Han Solo: Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. Anyway, it's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.

Ben Kenobi: [gets up and takes a blast helmet] I suggest you try it again, Luke. Only this time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct. [puts the helmet on Luke, which covers his eyes]

Luke Skywalker: But with the blast shield down, I can't even see! How am I supposed to fight?

Ben Kenobi: Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them. Stretch out with your feelings! [Watches Luke succeed in blocking the lasers] You see? You can do it.

Han Solo: I call it luck.

Ben Kenobi: In my experience, there is no such thing as luck.

Funny how you notice things that apply to everyday life, if you just apply the word GOD instead of FORCE how true this example is..... we base so much on what we see.... to be honest it is difficult seeing so many children not make it and yet believing completely that God's Hands are on every single situation... even when prayers aren't always answered. Miracles exist, the problem is that in pediatric cancer - we just don't see them often enough and still the fact remains that even the worst types of cancer some children survive all odds and some live much longer any doctor could predict.

Yet to the left of this site since I built it remains a simply verse: Corinthians 5:7 We live by faith, not by sight. Yes it is easier said than done, but it is essentially crucial being a cancer parent. BELIEVE ... BELIEVE ...BELIEVE ... to not judge God by what we see daily, but to believe all things are possible through God, true FAITH. It is a struggle, but this year I am going to do my best to wake up regardless of the 10 plus, new updates in my email box awaiting me to lose all faith in a bad report ... or that we lose another child we have prayed for.

So tonight I have been following two special children that have both been on my heart, I ask you to dig deep and pray for Anna Rose whose last MRI on Friday showed that the cancer is aggressive and new tumors are present.... she's turning 2 soon ... please pray for her follow her her: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/weloveannarose

Secondly, another little man that has my heart in knots ... he is 11 months old and his name is Evan Wolfe ........ he was inoperable and has the same diagnoses as Baby Wade his site is at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/evan011911 .... they need us to storm heaven please ...Lastly we have our little man David P. scanning on the 19th ... pray for NED .... and please Lord keep our Nicky cancer free, we are 6 weeks away from going back to St Jude .....

So tonight ... let's believe in MIRACLES and that GOD is and always will be in CONTROL of ALL things .... we need CURES ....

God Bless you all .... The very PROUD Momma of my boys .... hugs from me and my NICKYBEAR!

Luke Skywalker: You don't believe in the Force, do you?

Luke Skywalker: But with the blast shield down, I can't even see! How am I supposed to fight?

Ben Kenobi: Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them. Stretch out with your feelings! [Watches Luke succeed in blocking the lasers] You see? You can do it.

Han Solo: I call it luck.

Ben Kenobi: In my experience, there is no such thing as luck.

My Christmas Message ....

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Sorry didn't expect to post, but when I saw this video tonight it hit like a bullet, mostly because I know at least 6 kids and mostly my Arianna is in it and once again without hair ... she is featured in the red shirt and bow on her head ... what a princess! LOVE her!

It wasn't the video as much as it was from a blog entry from an NON-CANCER Mom that put it in her own words that I need to share:

Sick Kids in Beautiful Video Put Holidays in Perspective

Posted by Julie Ryan Evans

on December 22, 2011 at 1:23 PM

The holiday stress in my head this week is a like a giant red and green wheel spinning constantly and gaining speed. Have I found the perfect prime rib recipe? Are all the presents purchased, and is one kid going to need therapy one day because the other has more boxes? Are two pies enough to feed nine people? And dear lord, my quest for the perfect centerpiece is killing me.

Every year, I try to take things down a notch, to do less, embrace the simpler things, and not cave to the seasonal pressure, but no matter how many deep breaths I take, or lectures I give myself on the real meaning of the season, I still find myself and those around me frazzled. This video from the kids at St. Jude's Hospital is a pretty powerful de-frazzler.

It made me pause like nothing else to think of these kids and their families and the fights they're fighting. How different their holidays will be with an often deadly diagnosis, how none of the festive frenzy -- no matter how well-intended is really that important. Their innocent and jubilant faces remind me how fortunate we are each and every day that we have our children with us, that we have our health, and that stressing over the perfect meal is really ridiculous.

It's not that we should scrap our holiday traditions, because they're important, and a lot of the hustle and bustle results from good causes -- caring and sharing and making memories. But it shouldn't consume and exhaust us as it often does; it should delight us.

I watch this video and I think of my dear friend who lost her son to cancer, and I think of a young girl at my son's school who was just diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. I think of how the kids in the video could be any of our children at any time. And suddenly my to-do list is a lot less intimidating, because really if something doesn't get done, it's just not that big of a deal. And who really needs a centerpiece anyway.

Did this video move you?

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I then sat in my car and I cried while sitting in the Walgreens parking lot. I could not compose myself. Then still looking at my phone came across and felt like I needed to post this for the Mommies missing their child this year :::

THIS POEM WAS WRITTEN BY A 13-YEAR-OLD BOY, 
WHO BATTLED A BRAIN TUMOR FOR FOUR YEARS. 
HE DIED December 14, 1997, AND GAVE THIS POEM TO HIS MOTHER, 
JUST BEFORE HE DIED ....

For I am spending Christmas ...

THE SIGHT IS SO SPECTACULAR,
PLEASE WIPE AWAY THE TEAR, 
FOR I AM SPENDING CHRISTMAS 
WITH JESUS CHRIST THIS YEAR.

I HEAR THE MANY CHRISTMAS SONGS 
THAT PEOPLE HOLD SO DEAR,
BUT SOUNDS OF MUSIC CAN'T COMPARE
WITH THE CHRISTMAS CHOIR UP HERE.

I HAVE NO WORDS TO TELL YOU, 
THE JOY THEIR VOICES BRING,
FOR IT IS BEYOND DESCRIPTION, 
TO HEAR THE ANGELS SING.

I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MISS ME,
I SEE THE PAIN IN YOUR HEART,
BUT I AM NOT SO FAR AWAY, 
WE REALLY AREN'T APART.

SO BE HAPPY FOR ME, DEAR ONES, 
YOU KNOW I HOLD YOU DEAR.
AND BE GLAD I AM SPENDING CHRISTMAS 
WITH JESUS CHRIST THIS YEAR.

I SENT YOU EACH A SPECIAL GIFT, 
FROM MY HEAVENLY HOME ABOVE, 
I SENT YOU EACH A MEMORY 
OF MY UNDYING LOVE.

AFTER ALL, LOVE IS A GIFT 
MORE PRECIOUS THAN PURE GOLD, 
IT WAS ALWAYS MOST IMPORTANT
IN THE STORIES JESUS TOLD.

PLEASE LOVE AND KEEP EACH OTHER, 
AS THE FATHER SAID TO DO, 
FOR I CAN'T COUNT THE BLESSINGS
OR LOVE HE HAS FOR EACH OF YOU.

SO HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS 
AND WIPE AWAY THAT TEAR, 
REMEMBER, I AM SPENDING CHRISTMAS 
WITH JESUS CHRIST THIS YEAR.

December 5 - 16, 2011

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williambeaumont

Beaumont First things first .... the night before surgery we were a little worried and not wanting to raise red flags to stop Nickys tummy surgery because the week before his ANC was 1000 and he was sick with that bug he gave Christian and I, and what a bug that was! So he seemed ok and I took him for his scheduled appointment at Beaumont in Royal Oak at 7:00am and surgery scheduled for 8:30am .... so I didn't have my paperwork to tell me exactly where to go and there are many buildings on campus at Beaumont Hospital, I recalled the nurse telling me to park in the South Tower and to go to the 2nd floor. So I parked in the South tower, never parked there before - it's always the Rose Cancer Center. So as I walked into the main floor of a hospital that echoed memories of Nickys surgery 18 months ago - I just jumped on the elevator with anxiety and hit 2.

As I walked off the 2nd floor the walls closed in on me as I realized I just walked into OR Surgical area, the first spot I saw to my left was where I sat at 4:00am on May 22, 2010 while Nicky underwent a temp drain placed in his head to relieve the pressure. I tried to breath ... then I looked to the right to where I walked off the elevator and The Strange Family met me with food and hugs and then I was surrounded by family, friends and Pastor Steve. I immediately remembered a man in blood stained scrubs walking out towards us 4 hours into the surgery and I thought my son was dead .... we was sent to update us that the surgery was going as planned - after that visual, this is when I passed out for the finally two hours before Dr. Holly Gilmer-Hill walked out and I jumped up in fear and hope and ran to her .... the women at the desk saw my eyes filled with tears and she asked if I was ok. Visibly I was not ok, unprepared to walk into this area of a place filled with anxiety and pain. I quickly said," No I am not ok, please tell me this is not where I wait for small procedures??" The woman said no and she was kind enough to walk me to where I was suppose to be and checked me in to make sure I was ok. Nick would have came with me but I guess I didn't realize the massive effect of walking into the actual areas where this nightmare begin would haunt me so much and he showed up soon after.

So we got into the pre-op area and we waited and waited and finally at 9am, I said when is this surgery ???.... They told me we were bumped and shocked no one had called - surgery is scheduled at 10:30am and emergency took our spot. I was fine with that, just wish they told me not to sit there from 7 to 10.... then you realize how spoiled you are at St Jude where they let your child be sedated in the comfort of your arms. I am so use to this and I will not let him be sedated without being twlighted without me. It was tough, but then Dr.Han walked in and again the room closed in on me as he was the first person to cradle Nicky in the OR at 4am on May 22,2010 and place IVs in his tiny 8 month old body. He knew I was not letting him touch my boy and yet I was still comforted with him because we was familiar. He had no problem with supporting my requests and that I requested Versed ( this is a drug that erases your memory and it also is a heavy sedative. ) He allowed my request. He promised me once Nicky was gassed no more than two tries to poke him and that was it - port needle was on the bed that I brought. He was kind enough to agree and the procedure went smooth. His recovery was a little rough day one, but day two he was moving around much better. I recall the nurse in recovery saying this is just another step towards being done. Boy I pray that is true and I pray that the last surgery he needs in his life is his port removed period. He sounded coupe like for 3 days so I was pretty upset when the nurse called and I asked did you incubate him? She said yes and I said half or whole - she said whole this is the size of the tube that goes into the airway for breathing ... they NEVER told me he was being given anything but gas so I was not happy with them ..... either way Dr. Morden did a great job and the scar is already fading and Nickys healing.

So enough about that .... all is well, Nicky is well ... we are relaxing for a brief moment .... It has been a crazy ride since then ..... Aaron Gray (same dx as our Nicky) passed away and our hearts are in pain .... then Flo passed away from Ovarian Cancer, then a few days later Alan Goldman passed away from Pancreatic Cancer and then a few days later my great Uncle Hank passed away. Much sadness while we are trying to be grateful for today ....Please pray for these families.

Update on my kids we follow ... Reese C., tumors have shrunk and stable, she is not part of SJYC07 protocol but she is part of our Jude family. Back to our protocol - Avery C. Tumors have shrunk!!! Hallie C. is NED, Angel C. NED, Haley H. NED, Ashlan B. is possibly stable with a stubborn spot so PRAY, Christian S. NED, Luca P. STABLE ... pray for NED, Bella M. STABLE .. pray for NED! Now the kicker Ehrren G. another tumor has presented and not in a position for operation .... pray for radiation to cure his body ...Aaron B. scans this upcoming week ... pray pray pray .... new kids walking in there daily and Willa Rose has her second surgery Jan 9, 2012. ohhhh... Anna Rose in NY ... she is STABLE pray for cure

And FYI it's not HAPPY HOLIDAYS ... its Christmas .... so MERRY CHRISTMAS and thank Jesus for his sacrifice for us ....PRAY FOR CURES IN 2012 .... Nicky and all of us did a photo shoot in the next few days I will post some of the photos for you all to see! God Bless you all ....

Ohhhhh and I keep forgetting to post our newest family member that came into lives on November 5, 2011 ... meet Bentley - he's made it through George Boot Camp so he's staying and doing very very well ....he's 2 1/2 pounds of fun!

He's keeping Nicky busy - he likes to chase him and Haley Blu (our other pup she's 3) has a partner in crime now!!!

December 17 - 23, 2011

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Here's our NickyBear .... I want to thank our photographer Sabreena for being so patient with him! I told her we have so much to catch up on with memories .... she is very talented and if you like her work she comes to you - here is her info: http://www.pbsabreena.com/

On another note, yesterday Nicky is now 29 months old. I celebrate every milestone and everyday with him! He is becoming easier around people socially and that is a blessing. His tummy is healing great from surgery and the scar is already fading away. This time of year fills me with such mixed emotions. I am so very grateful for my family, for another clean scan and yet there is a part of me, the vaunerable mother in me that knows the pain of watching your child have to walk through the mind field of cancer and so, so many are missed this time of year especially is hard on these families.

It is hard to place into words the pain my heart I carry for these families, especially now. I had a friend email me this week and he said that this had changed me forever. That comment could not be more accurate. It has changed the compassion I have the love I have for complete strangers, the JOY I find in being able to be there when I am needed. I recall a quote from Spiderman, "With great power comes great responsibility." I like to change those words and say with "With great love and compassion comes great responsibility." It is in this whole process that I have found God deeper than I ever thought possible, it is with that relationship that I have learned to love deeper than I ever knew how. I recall last Christmas Eve, ready to walk out the door to go to Nick's parents house and my cell rang, and I the other end was Ryken's Momma. That call was surreal, she told me he had scanned because they thought he had the flu and the doctors gave him a week to live. That entire night I had such a heavy heart, such a empty feeling of helplessness and I couldn't change the pain she had in her voice. There seems such an unfairness that is hard to accept with this process of life and why one so little and precious was going home too soon. We miss you Ryken B. your little fist pumps and smile, what a precious child he was. Kendal is also on my heart, we wanted her to beat Leukemia sooo badly ... she fought so hard! Pray for these families ....

This morning a little one we have been following peacefully passed away at 6:22am and while I never knew this princess, Bella Bowman was truly beautiful and again .... I ask for prayers for her family Her story can be found here:http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/bellabowman , she too was not only part of our St Jude family, but our ependyparents group also and she and Nicky shared the same diagnoses. I recall so many that passed away Jonathan M., I quoted his Momma last years letter, so profound her letter explaining how would she tell his siblings that we wasn't going to wake up to open presents ... There are so many memories I have of soooo many children, many I did not even know - but as a community whether it be St Jude, shared diagnosed or just cancer alone .... there is a silent bond that no words would be adequate enough to to describe that catastophic toll this new way of life places on you.

This Christmas I am reminded of a Christmas card I send out in 2003 and inside is said, Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more? This Christmas be so grateful for what you have, you can not buy what is most priceless .... FAMILY.

Another Mother (Ivee the Blessed) wrote this, Many of you know why we call this G.I.F.T. week. It makes sense, being that it's Christmas time, a time for giving and receiving. BUT, I didn't call the day of remembrance that for just the fun of the season. No! Not at all. G.I.F.T., of course an acrostic, but it holds so many meanings for us.

I am incorporating this G.I.F.T. into our lives with Nicky's story, it wasn't what some call "mother's intuition" That the night I was so uneasy with Nicky's body feeling limp in my arms On May 22,2010, because I prayed and God told me - get him to ER .... there is nothing to explain, God saved Nickys life, God gave us a second chance, that through the hands of Dr. Holly Gilmer that He administered a clean surgery .... is it a G.I.F.T. that St Jude had a curative protocol for our son and as you can see from these photos, WE ARE SOOOOOO BLESSED! We take nothing for granted.

G.I.F.T. is not about me. It is all about my Lord, my Savior, and Nicky's Healer.
...God
..........Is
...............Faithful and
......................................True!

May you have a Merry Christmas, please always pray for CURES ... pray that God shows mercy to Nicky and that he remains cancer free. Next MRI Feb 23.2012 .... and pray for the endless list of families with loved ones they miss dearly during this holiday season.

November 24 - December 4, 2011

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Just a reminder to pray for NickyBears surgery Tuesday morning at Beaumont to close his tummy from where the feeding tude was, it would not close on its own and St Jude could not fit us in while there. So pray for a speedy recovery and surgery!

4003

Back to Memphis, Nicky and I flew in a day early and Nick met us after Nicky was sedated. As I posted a few days ago below the MRI is NED and Clear of Disease!!! AMEN ...While there I was able to visit 3 families inpatient, which made the extra day there go by much quicker. We started by seeing Baby Ronan V., he is in his 3rd round of chemo and day 8, and 9. It brought back so many memories being in that exact room, out of all the rooms this one I remember the most. Room 2077, There are certian things about Jude you can not erase and this was the room I was in starting Day 1 of round 4 of methotrexate. This room also echoed a very real anxiety and sadness .... it was there when our Doctor, Dr. Wight walked in hours later from hearing the news of Baby Wades scan..... I remember looking at her and saying, "You have the hardest job in the world .... I don't know how you do this everyday." She said, "With hope ... hope that we find better ways to treat the kids." She could tell I was a wreck and I think that is why she got us discharged so quickly that round. Nonetheless when Ronan's Mom said sit.... I could not and rather stand in my high heel boots and be uncomfortable. But I was grateful to meet Baby Ronan and his Momma.

blue2

We then got to see Hallie C. she was sleeping, but I needed to go give her Momma a hug and just show her what a difference a year can make by showing her how our Nicky looks today and showing her a photo of a year ago. She was also on her Day 8 and 9 or round 2 and has a scan coming up, please say a prayer for her that she is NED!!! (no evidence of disease.)

We went into E-clinic and the play area and burnt off some time there, we missed a visit to see Arianna's family but I did get to see that princess at rehab the next day briefly. Nicky was filled with energy and loved running around Jude. I could see other parents looking to see if he was a patient - the identifing marker is the blue bracelet that he was not wearing our first day there. I am sure people wondered where my other child was when passing us and seeing Nicky clearly looking like a picture of complete health. I remember sizing parents up wondering which child was the patient in the beginning.... most of the time the treating patients are bald, thin hair, NG-tube in their nose or feeding tubes running from their stomachs, or clearly deficits from surgery or treatment, sometimes both - multiple markers pointing to the patient.

art

We finally headed back to Grizzle and caught up with Tyler B. who was scanning the same day as us. They played in the playroom and we talked about the kids from our protocol. There are so many to update on. It was so good to see Tyler, so full of life with his brown spikey hair looking healthy too. Upon leaving the hospital I was able to visit Willa Rose and her family and see such wonderful progress since her first days there our last visit 3 months ago. It is wonderful to see them achieving goals and gaining strength, even through treatment.

blue3

chilis So as you know the MRI is NED and all is clear!!! PRAISE GOD! The ultrasound was not too bad to sit through and they saw nothing alarming So the only thing left was for us to have our clearnance visit and say our goodbyes for another 90 days of freedom. To update on the kids that scanned this week, Brody S. scan is stable and we still need to pray it is once again NED. We also scanned with Tyler B. NED clear once again ... then there was Yesaahi G. in South Africa on our protocol and his scan was NED clear ... While Kylie O. I was told her scan showed minor progression - there are still cureable options left so please keep that little one in your prayers. Campbell's results showed that the chemo needs to be modified and so we pray... and we are waiting on Reese's news still. We ran into Scout L. who got a great scan too. Belle M. scans Monday, please pray for her and Luca P. will be coming up shortly with Christian S. next week. And Little Anna L. scans on the 6th too.

Crazy enough while waiting that Wednesday night in the lobby of Grizzle House, it was filled with all of the faces of 6 months ago at Target House when we needed to take cover from a Tornado and Reese and her family and Kylie and her entire family were there .... what odd timing we were personally off by a week, but it was still good to see so many faces there that we knew. We even got to see Isaiah P. and his Momma there for HBOT treatments and doing much better.

We met a family that lost their son a year ago while waiting in the lobby for Nicky's ultrasound and when they asked questions about Nicky, we asked questions about a little girl that was only 1yrs. old that looked healthy. They told us they had lost their son a little over a year ago, 6 weeks before giving birth to their daughter. Out of fear they chose to scan her at 1 yrs old. in their local town, that scan showed something so there they sat AGAIN at St jude.... my heart literally hurt so much thinking of them all day ... I apologized to them and said no family should ever be here, but to even sit in this room twice, Lord please let this be a clean scan! The mother emailed me back, I was so happy to learn that scan was CLEAR ... thank you Lord. This is their son's story http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jamesvidrine Pray for their daughter Adeline to always remain PERFECTLY healthy ...

So we came home and were able to decorate our tree with peace in our hearts. This is something I could not do until we came home, so the tree sat empty for 10 days waiting for us when we came back.

While we feel so blessed we learned of our dear friends father, Steve Goldman's father was given months to live with Metastasis Pancreatic Cancer. We learn this moments after getting our good news and our hearts hurt for you all, you supported us and prayed for our boy and now we are praying for you. Not only that but another child's post came in the day we arrived, Aaron Gray and his Momma was the last donation for Nickys CURE SEARCH WALK to put us to ourt goal this is his entry in his journal http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/aarongray - Lord hold this family up!

Nicky brought a bug back from St Jude and Christian and I were so sick vomitting from 1am Friday -10:30am Saturday, Super Daddy Nick had to put on a Cape and take care of everyone, there's a first for everything!!! .... we couldn't make it to church but we learned that the Jackson family lost their sister Flo to Ovarian Cancer this morning. There are too many names to list of children and loved ones fighting or whom we have lost from cancer in the last year and a half ... it has been a tough to love so many and hurt with so many, and wake up and fight the thoughts everyday that could steal all the wind from your day.

What I know is God is GOOD ..... we will never be able to grasp all that we endure, what I know is that God uses us and uses our lives and stories to teach each other lessons in every single way. Out of the most pain, we learn the most ... wish that was the absolute opposite .. but it simply is not how this world works.

Dear Lord,

We thank you for allowing us peace of mind to come home and celebrate the holidays! Please show mercy on so many families hurting right now .. your love is ALL HEALING .... ALL POWERFUL ... and we ask that you lift up all the families mentioned in this post .... show your unfailing love and your mercy ... Father .... we leave all things in your Hands always .....Please look over NIcky during his surgery and Beaumont this Tuesday morning to close his tummy that just would not heal on it's own!! Make his healing quick Lord ....

Update::

Updates

December 24, 2011 - January 9, 2012

My Christmas Message ....

Sick Kids in Beautiful Video Put Holidays in Perspective

December 5 - 16, 2011

December 17 - 23, 2011

November 24 - December 4, 2011

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