Well I just can't seem to kick this smile off my face and well I expect it to stay there!


I can't complain - life is great - Nicky's been doing so good in so many ways - we wish he would use his hearing aids but he is still doing amazing despite just not wanting to use them. We see his local ENT Thursday to see if his right ear has closed permanently and we pray it has - we will attempt to get those hearing aids in, in a clinical setting there.
While this website is not by any means a family blog nor will it be one because this site is about our NickyBears journey and it will remain so. With that being said, we would like to share with you that our Nicky will be a big brother by the grace and mercy of our Heavenly Father! There's more .... He will be a big brother times 2! That's right - twins will join our crazy crew! Not just twins but a sister and a brother! Now tell me God isn't amazing and His timing is the only way things happen and Nothing is created in existence without His plan!
So while I apologize for being so quiet and slow to update - we've had a team brewing and needed to feel at peace and safe to announce these miracles into our world - we pray for health with all our hearts, we pray for healing to continue for our Nicky and we pray for our oldest Christian whom got so excited that we were finding out from parents at school congratulating us that we needed to tell everyone ASAP.
So we feel humbled, grateful, blessed and so much more because we went through two years of praying, struggling and many heartbreaks to get such precious news, we also want to take a moment to explain that we have two biological blessings coming our way, many of you whom have known me for a while know that I was severely sick my 2 entire pregnancies with Hyperemesis Gravidarum, so the option of possibly losing a year not being able to be Nicky's Mommy that cares for him, nor could we as a couple predict what our future held when we wanted to add to our family two years ago, so with that being said, we did not make choices quickly and really prayed on what our options were. Well, it didn't happen over night and a dear friend of mine is carrying our babies for us in California. I know this may leave you with questions on how or why we chose this path. It wasn't our first option - but we believed this was the right choice for us considering all we have been through.  One question I believe is important that we address, is through this 2 years of hopes and dreams through IVF and surrogacy is if we have any embryos left and the answer is NO.  This was our last chance and apparently a last chance was all we needed for God to give us these blessings. We will welcome our new little ones in October. I wish we had a solid due date but with twins anything goes! But in my heart I have this feeling it will be near the the middle of the month. It was a crazy few months because in the midst of this all happening another cancer momma found herself pregnant and called me immediately because she wanted us to adopt that baby because she knew how badly I wanted to add a sibling close to Nicky in age. Well she wasn't carrying one, it was twins too and fraternal as well! I thought wow Lord you sure have an odd sense of humor! Well I immediately thought of families that may want such a blessing and sadly that friend of mine lost the babies. I just want to thank her for considering us to be parents. So now some of you are connecting the dots with Nick and I traveling to Cali the last two years. I was just there May 8th and saw our new miracles ultrasound May 9th. It was the best Mother's Day present ever! Not to mention our Anniversary was May 13 and we have so much to celebrate. I apologize if this seems vague when we went through so much, but we want to focus on the blessings not the many losses we endured anymore. As for our surrogate, she's as sick as I was, if not worst. She has a PICC line in and is on bedrest, she needs our prayers. While she has taken on a huge role for us none of us could have predicted she would be just as sick as I was.
As for Nicky getting a local MRI with an early time hasn't been fun so  at U of M Childrens Motts. It's a Friday so we aren't expecting any news  or at the latest the following Wednesday. The wait is what it is or we have the option of going to Jude and to be honest - going back so often if we can avoid it for a few months possibly then we will wait locally. Please pray the edema / swelling is gone that the shunt is doing its job! Pray that the radial changes are gone because they must be ! We claim it, please claim it with us.
For many of you, you don't realize the true blissfulness these new bambinos bring to a very stressful world - we want to enjoy it all be grateful, thankful and praise our Father for the gifts Only He can bring.
In the meantime we want to enjoy our boys and never take a minute for granted - so much can change so quickly. So while I always ask for prayers for the children and cures and our Nicky - after our two year struggle we privately held - I now ask you to pray for health for our babies and pray for every aching couple that so desperately wants to be parents - let God pour blessings on them and bring many many babies in the future to our loved ones and dear friends that are deserving of being amazing parents. Our cousin posted this a few days ago - "Try one more time. The next time could be your YES. Don't let the no's discourage you. Don't let the closed doors convince you to give up." Joel Osteen
Dear Lord,
Nothing but a heart of gratitude! Many times we wondered if we would ever be able to see our dream happen - but only through you and patience and never giving up that we have faith that Your Hands are always on every situation we bring to you and lay at your feet. You have shown us mercy and blessed us. Please help us keep our eyes on you always!


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