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Friday night we are did major laundry and for those of you who don't know we are in the middle of a move as well so our house is half packed up and unorganized mess for us. Yesterday reality set in as my phone lit up with 901 area codes from Memphis. It started with pre-op doing their job asking the list of questions. I won't lie, I told the nurse, surgery is pending on Mondays scan! I wasn't rude I just said, I know this call is protocol but my son is doing too amazing for me to not argue that we should be just going home! I really hope I don't meet you - but I really believe unless proven otherwise that I won't see you- I was laughing when I said this trying to make a heavy situation lighter. She said you have a great attitude. I can't take credit for it - Gods fueling me up!Then St Jude's automated appointment reminder called, then another one from the neurosurgeons office - it was slowly chipping away at my mood.
I'm am 100% sure that spending more time pouring my heart out to God, reading multiple devotionals listening the CD Momma B sent me that keeps me in prayer the whole time I drive has been like a power source of strength for me! I am growing personally stronger in my walk with The Lord - it has been a blessing! I focus on healing verses in the bible and I just praise Him! Nick is praying so hard too, he like me we both find peace leaving our hearts burdens with the Lord.
Saying all that, we still must pack for a week regardless of what my heart says to me- that hasn't been fun - it's the reality that we must enter - in March 2011 I posted this quote that has echoed everything we face, a local Mom told me ... "prepare your heart", but NEVER stop fighting and NEVER stop believing ... make NO plans on losing. This is my friend, Julian's Momma, Nettie. Her words are true, yes we must pack for a week, we must enter this knowing a surgery is very possible - but we can also enter this BELIEVING that our crazy, energy filled boy is going to show them what God can do and they better show me proof that he needs surgery! I remember our surgeon saying we don't treat the scan, we treat the patient - well let me tell you this patient of mine is doing great! Please pray we stay strong, pray that the doctors see no cancer, no radial changes and nothing that should not be there and send us home so we can move. We pray remembering this is Gods plan, we also know we have the right to pray and lay our petitions at our Fathers feet. So if it is His will that we stay or our boy needs anything done that God is always with us, always making our path straight when we can't see that path. I wrote in my last post about a devotional app called, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young - I don't read forward but I did noticed that Monday, March 11, 2013 the title is "Walk by Faith, not by Sight" - that quote has been on our site and with us since the PICU - it's also on a ring my Dana sent me I wear all the time. Perfect timing for that entry!
Dear Lord, We are so grateful for all your wondrous miracles, from the tiniest ones - to the biggest ones in our lives we give glory, honor and PRAISE to YOU. We will praise you in this storm, we will seek your face in all that is ahead of us focusing on the blessings of today and leaving our worries and fear with you knowing YOU hear our prayers. Be with us as you always have been, let no harm come to Nicky ever again! On Monday - Lord when the anxiety kicks in to high gear, please remind us to BE STILL AND KNOW YOU ARE GOD!
Through Jesus Christ!!!!Amen - we will update when we can please pray for our NickyBear!