I Posted it this year - but felt this should be posted again!

The Starfish Story
Original Story by: Loren Eisley

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.

Approaching the boy, he asked, What are you doing?

The youth replied, Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide is going out.  If I don't throw them back, they'll die.

Son, the man said, don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?
You can't make a difference!

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf.  Then, smiling at the man, he said
I made a difference for that one.

If you can not see the video above please click the blue link below.

NickyBears 2nd Birthday - CURE SEARCH WALK 2011 


Summer recap since this is September and pediatric cancer awareness month I want to share with you what it truly is like to walk in my shoes today. I have battled with the rawness for this post - but find it so honest that I must post it.

I watched this video and sobbed last night .... I followed Ronan the child this song was wrote for and last year I asked many of you to sign a petition for allocated funds for pediatric cancer research to our government because of someone that was Ronan's moms friend. If you can not view below this is the video link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ITrd7fM6aY

I cried watching this, after all my son has been on a baby ( under 3 ) protocol and I can't count how many children we have loved and lost now - not just the babies but so many children in these few short years. So with that being said, this summer as "normal" as normal is now .... I would get anxiety when I saw a graduation party card - would my NickyBear God willing graduate? I stood at Christian's 5th grade graduation and when they said class of 2019 ... I teared up thinking of all the mom's that lost children right before this milestone and again wondering will I see my NickyBear walk across this stage and be a graduating 5th grader? I take nothing for granted and absorb every moment with him, at times hoarding him and just loving him. Can you blame me?  I love when he just hugs me, its like I need it more than he does but he doesn't let go ..... ahhhh I love this little boy. I listen to the words of that song "Ronan" and pray to God that I have more than the best four years, or the cars on the floor or I remember your blue eyes looking into mine like we had our own secret club, I remember you dancing before bed time then jumping on me waking
me up,  ---- I want a lifetime for him so much it hurts me.

aug1I feel like I shelter my readers and sound so profoundly strong, when in fact I have had no choice but to pick up the sword and slay the dragon ( cancer )  with all my might!!!! I am strong because God carries me, and my husband is there for me - but it is a struggle that is unimaginable to anyone that has not walked our my shoes. We walk for his 3rd birthday a week before he is due for surgery, a surgery we are still praying he won't need but it is in fact scheduled and I can't help but think of all the children that we lost that will never earthly turn 3.  It is overwhelming.  I fell in love with too many families, too many children not realizing my heart would be attached to the yo-yo string that is cancer.  I have learned through my son's journey, that I love more than I ever thought possible and I hurt more than I ever imagined one could.  I long for parents that lost a child to be reunited with them and I pray for cures and God grace to surround them.

I can't begin to imagine my son in a hospital bed again or recovering sleeping to the sounds of monitors and nurses checking vitals but I am ready for whatever God has in store for us - I hate it so much for him .... and I hate what he has been through!

I realize asking for donations for CURES when many of you have already given is a huge request to knock on your door yet again, but I truly ask that you consider it, even if you can only give $1 to research .... this is your official invite to Nickybears 3rd birthday party .... we WALK, we ask you to not just donate but be there and experience this unbelievable movement for children and the demand for CURES. If you can not walk, be a virtual walker - its only $10.00 - if you want to walk but can't afford it - let me know I will find a way! I know times are tough for so many people, but like I said I am not going to keep asking the same people to step up - next year we will have a normal birthday party because this little man deserves one, but for now we must do all we can for a CURE - we have seen too many children not get another birthday and that drives me to do this one more time this year. HELP US PLEASE .... we have never asked for anything to benefit us, but to benefit a CURE for ALL pediatric cancers.

With that being said, consider this - for any life event that you might have wrote a check to my son - instead of doing it later .... do it now. I know that sounds like I don't trust God, when in fact I trust him completely - as my husband said, "I don't question God, I just have questions" .... so instead of a birthday gift, graduation invite, a college gift or a wedding contribution - do it now while we can to something to find a cure so he can reach all these normal life experiences and I rather tell him later that people aren't sending gifts later because they helped us find cures when we needed it.

I have decided it is the last year that we will make this his birthday event because with God's Hands on him as he turns 4 next year, it's about time for cake and letting him have his first real party. He spent his 1st birthday coming off chemo inpatient at Jude with nurses and a St Jude cake - his 2nd at the walk and his 3rd ... WALKING once again .... I won't keep asking but I am asking now to please consider donating or being there with us please. You need to register ASAP please come WALK with us ....

REGISTER OR DONATE HERE::: http://www.curesearchwalk.org/southeastmi/nickybear22

Dear Lord,

PLEASE give us more miracles, more cures .... please comfort all my friends that have lost children. What a difficult summer watching so many earn wings Please watch over our Nicky and heal his body completely - please never allow cancer to ever touch him again and remove this inflammation!!! Please bless all our friends and family that donate from their hearts and for each prayer they have prayed for our family. We are so very blessed to have people praying so hard for us .... Thank you for ALL that you do Father .... please heal and touch someone we love that needs prayers to that one day you will restore this broken person and bring her back to us whole ....


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