It's been 15 days since we were confirmed that our world and family as we know it would been changing forever. The reality of it has been so heavy, hospice has been so helpful.

The amount of support and prayers and LOVE has been overwhelming for us and we are humbled and feel the prayers in our weakest hours. We have people that have done costco runs and filling our frig and bringing meals from the sign up from my 2 sisters that they are managing it. We can not begin to thank everyone enough! Another thing we love to see is you posting our site and changing your profile photo to any of our sons photos. - you will never know who you will reach across this globe and we want and need his story to live on ..... Please do this for us. 

Many of you are wondering how our sweet bear is and so, as you have taken this journey with us - we want you to know what it's been like. The first few days were scary, he has been tired and fatigue and had moments that really scared us. He was placed on pain meds and steroids. The hope was that the steroids would give him some relief, increase appetite and slow things down a bit. They call it a short honeymoon phase. The first 3 days we didn't see any benefit, the last few it has relieved some symptoms, his breathing is better and his glossy eyes look like him, but short glimpses. We did not get the full effect we hoped for from the steroids, but we got a little more quality time from it. While the steroids have helped, we see him sadly progressing with even the meds, due to where the highest dose doses of radiation hit him on his brain stem, it is effecting swallow, our home is filled with trays of meds and oxygen tanks and auctioning machines..... The hospice doctor told us based on her assessment, he has weeks to days, that was a week ago .... If steroids help weeks to months. The only person that knows this answer is GOD ...... Down to the very second ..... Lord, do not let our boy suffer! I beg you to have mercy. 

We are embracing time with him as much as he lets us. We are also in prep mode because we know we need to face what lies ahead ... Haven't we stopped hoping or praying for a miracle ... No ......but we also realize that the miracle might have just been being chosen to be his parents and knowing this intense love and pain ...

Nicks taken on a lot, he knows I'm not dealing with any of this well. While I haven't said it enough to him, I am grateful when he realizes how broken I am. We all are, he is just able to try to deal and put it aside in a different way. You might wonder how is Christian, he's 12 he understands and knows and has been so amazing with our bear.

It is extremely hard to write updates, But I will try. Mainly, I want everyone to know that when the time comes - please do not send flowers that fade ..... Instead we are forming the Nicholas Ashton George Foundation to aid against children being over radiated, this has to stop. It's wrong and it is the reason this happened to our son, honestly I knew October 2010 but prayed it wouldn't be so, if you followed our journey errors were made ... I spoke of them back then. Since I have ran the largest group for my sons type of cancer, over 450 families world wide, I know this was not a relapse and I know God did answer that prayer. However, we have watched these horrible radiation induced changes for a year praying. I can't tell you if we will have the energy to be an active organization quickly, maybe in time and maybe it's just for this moment in time since I know families working towards this. I can tell you that I have been actively prepared for over a year to disclose information when the time came, but feared I may steal hope from families and so I protected them and now I will ensure this same mistakes will never happen to another child. Please do not make donations to St Jude on behalf of our boy - it only aids them to keep doing these highly toxic trials to learn from. This approach from the doctor that hid from us will be stopped.

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