"Cancer" - what comes flooding into your mind when you hear the word Cancer? Most of us can sadly apply this word to someone we know or love, regardless of the outcome. One word, Cancer - numbing, crippling, anxiety, fear, depair, hopeless, helpless, pain, torture, heart gripping, grief and many many more.

feb12joyHowever it is through true Faith in the Lord those words turn into hope, determination and you learn to lean on God completely. Jessica Joy Rees a 9 year old touched the world in her 10 month battle against an inoperable brain tumor. She was the child of a pastor from Saddle Back Church in CA. She told the world "NEVER EVER GIVE UP" , she earned her angel wings on Jan 5, 2012. The letters N.E.G.U. standing for her phrase "NEVER EVER GIVE UP" has become her legacy she has left on our world. While sick, Jess created JOY JARS and filled them with treats and toys for kids fighting cancer. This past week we recieved a JOY JAR from NEGU Foundation. I couldn't help but cry when I saw this beautiful colorful kid like box arrive and saw Jessica's photo on it. Through so much sadness there is so much good that rises from people like Jessica.

This was a difficult week - I have been asking you all to pray for many children and I STILL ask you to continue to .... I have had a hard time writing a post lately, there's just too much sadness in my heart over children I have grown to love. Last week you all saw me post on facebook that Anna Rose was placed on Hospice and her health is rapidly declining.  As if that alone wasn't hard enough, there is a nationwide shortage of IV morphine to keep their daughter comfortable. Each post gets harder and harder to read knowing she is suffering. There is nothing to describe the pain in my heart reading her Daddies words lately.   This past Friday also Bree H. rescanned - it only brought a confimation that the cancer has returned.  I can not tell you how helpless I feel when I have a parent, in this case Kris call me with a tear filled, choked up voice say, "I can't imagine living without her".  There is NOTHING worse than the thought of a life without your child that has been through so much temporary torture in order for them to be cured - only to be told its back. It is unclear until Monday when they perform an LP ( lumbar puncture ) what  possible options will be. I ask you to pray that her CSF ( cranial spinal fluid is cancer free ), that a safe surgery can be preformed, allowing her to still be able to beat this disease.

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Now to update you on my Nickybear. He's such a precious child! He loves the snow though we have not had much that sticks. As you may already know we are due to fly in to St Jude Wednesday. February 22,2012 and he will have his port accessed and an assessment done for his MRI on the 23rd.  All winter long we have stayed home to keep him safe and as timing will have it, Christian got sick about two weeks ago - then the following week Nick got sick. Nick didn't call the doctor when he should have and well ... he only got sicker. As you can probably guess even though I did all I could to keep him away from his Daddy, Nicky started up with a coup voice on Tuesday night it is now saturday and he sounds so congested coughing. So please pray this cold goes away! Not much we can do but give him benedryl to dry him up a bit but boy getting him to take any meds is close to impossible. So .... we will raise no red flags unless he's still sounding this bad by Monday afternoon.  Last year, his Feb scan he was fighting a cold then too and the day before the MRI - he was fine thank God. Please pray it goes away now so we are not stressed out wondering if he can get scanned. We also ask that you pray that his scan results are cancer free.

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feb12needleWe take a ton of naps together and I am just so grateful to cuddle with this precious boy of mine. He has finally added some new words to his vocabulary - LOL of course Elmo is the word this week, no shocker there since he loves Elmo. He's such a boy too, Cars everywhere and we repeat watching the movie Cars non-stop from his room to the living room there is a trail of Cars everywhere. This past month I decided I was done waiting at Rose Cancer Center for port flushes when I knew I was completely capable of it myself. Some of you saw the post on Facebook but this is the needle I have to place in his port in his chest to flush monthly. I promise you a cancer mom is truly an un-certified nurse.  Its amazing all I have had to manage and learn over night during this journey.

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feb12smileHe is just a joy and so interactive, he loves to play with his toys and now he imitates what the characters do from Toy Story.  It's just amazing how much he has grown in the last few months. He LOVES to Dance and LOVES to slap and twirl around till he falls on his butt. I am just so blessed God gave this child to Nick and I! He loves to chase the dogs around and tease them and he loves any attention his big brother Christian will give him. I look at him in amazement when I take a look back from videos and photos of the last year and a half, he's came so far and we thank God every single day for this gift.

Dear Lord,

Please watch over Nicky this week, heal this cold so we can get to Jude safely and please Lord, let him remain cancer free. We ask that you watch over our friends that we are praying for - that you bring healing and comfort to each of these precious babies. That through you, our Father -  that you will extend your arms around the families and comfort them and bring peace to all that in out of our control. Faithfully we ask for miracles because Lord, we know YOU ARE ABLE. Father bring CURES ... PLEASE ....


feb12speechOh ... lastly I forgot to mention we started speech therapy to get the ball rolling and even though its very repetitive, I have learned sitting there how to help Nicky be more vocal and it is totally catching on. When we go to the pantry now he use to shake his head - now if I grab the wrong thing he bluntly says "NO" lol ... he's becoming more vocal and saying new things all the time - what a blessing! Thats Nancy below his speech therapist!

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